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As a ten-year-old boy still three years away from puberty, I had no idea what the hell she wanted from me, and I didn’t understand why she followed me from the stables to the corral to the field to the pool and back again. Not to say she wasn’t cute, I’m sure for a kid she was cute, but I didn’t care. I was more interested in having fun, and it wasn’t until I was older that I realized girls really were fun. * * * I’m not sure what brought me back to that place fifteen years later. I had been on the road for almost two years, and having come full circle, I found myself back in my home state travelling the old familiar roads, taking comfort in the old familiar places. I was driving rather aimlessly as I had become used to, trying to find a good place to stop and rest. At that point, I had no idea what my next step would be or where I would go. I knew I had to find a quiet place to start writing, but where? I knew I had to find a job to support myself while I lived the struggling. She was smiling as she took in the massive cheering crowd. Her smile hadn’t changed at all.I felt like ... well, nothing. Surely I should have felt some sudden desire to run over to her, or wave my arms so she’d reflexively look my way and see me waiting for her. But I didn’t. I just felt a little numb and empty. Of course I wanted to see her, to talk to her but it just felt like it wouldn’t be enough.I stumbled forward as Dave and Toby slammed into me from either side.“Find her yet?” said Dave, pushing himself up a little of my shoulder and craning his neck way too obviously. “Oh, is that her? The one with the hair?”“Brilliant description,” Toby mocked from the other shoulder. “Very helpful. Could you be any less specific?”“Yeah,” I said, simply. “I found her.”“Well you sound really excited about it,” Toby replied. “I mean, seriously.” He began to speak in a flat monotone. “No. Stop. Settle down. I can’t let you do it. Be still. Control yourself, you maniac.”“What’s wrong?” asked.
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